Warning: Nothing Positive Here

Since I have had such a horrible, terrible, really bad weekend, this post will serve as two posts.

So here is my weekend post:

This just about sums up my whole weekend.  

I did  nothing but sleep and cry all weekend long.

The only time I wasn't crying and was somewhat content was when I was asleep,

dreaming of something better.

This waiting for a miracle is too damn draining.

On another negative note:

I wasn't able to save any money from 

from my pay this past Friday.   

Ugghhh!  So I am not any closer to getting a car

 or getting a different place to live.

Depression Sucks!

I never said all my posts were going to be pretty.

Until next time, consider yourself warned.

I am featured at My Favorite Posts Show Off Weekend Blog Party

My friend Jessica over at The Wondering Brain 

is having an awesome weekend Blog Party!

It starts today at 5pm CST.
 

 

I am honored to be one of the featured co-hostesses.

Come join me and my other six co-hostesses

find some great blogs, maybe make some new friends,

 and do some mingling!

Show your fellow bloggers (and me) some love!

Michelle from A Dish of Daily Life

She won our June Group Giveaway which included $20 Starbucks Gift Card, Free Ad Space with our June Co-hostesses and 2 months co-hosting My Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party!  

There's still time to enter the SHEBUSA giveaway. Win a beautiful ostrich bracelet! Also, get a 15% discount on any SHEBUSA purchase using the promo code: THEWON

Entry-Form

Stop by today at 5pm CST for a premiere giveaway with The Whimsical Peacock! 

Ready to party? We are!! Just a few guidelines to follow before we begin:

• Link up your favorite posts. It doesn't matter which one, just make sure it's family friendly! 
• Follow your host (that's JessicaThe Wondering Brain)
• Follow all 7 co-hosts: Stacey, Michelle, Sarah, Cathy, Tess, Ash, and Jamie(that's me)
• Leave a comment if you'd like them to follow you too
• Visit at least 5 other bloggers 
• Show them your blogger love too if you'd like them to follow 

Remember, it's not a party unless you mingle, so mingle around and make some friends! 

 

Take our beautiful badge and proudly display it on your side bar to encourage others to party with us!

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Interested in co-hosting The SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party next month? $4.00 to reserve your spot for a month and a 50% discount on ad space! We won't disappoint. I promise! Please email Jessica for more information:   thewonderingbrain@gmail.com

Want to Swap Buttons with The Wondering Brain?  Choose the 100 x 100 ad and enter the promo code: swap. It will give you priority link to My Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party every week as a swapper!! Click here to submit your button :)

Let's Party!!!

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Jessica 

Wife , Mom, Career Person, and Doctoral Student

The Wondering Brain

More than just blogging

Day 12 of the 30 Day Blog-a-Day Challenge

Day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge

So, I just figured something out.  

Sometimes, okay most of the time, 

I just sit down at the computer and 

blog about whatever comes to my mind.

Sometimes I research articles, 

sometimes I look online for a topic to write about.

But mostly, I just write, post, and blog from my mind.

So, yes I write to find out what I didn't know I knew (Robert Frost).

For me, writing is more than just blogging, it is a chance to unleash my mind.

It is a chance to look inside my deep, dark soul.  

I am letting parts of me out for the first time.

Sometimes what I blog about is distressing, sometimes upbeat, 

sometimes down right real.

But I am more than my diagnosis.
I am a deep, interesting, beautiful on the inside person.

I love with all my heart, care with all my being, forgive easily but never forget.

I am grateful for hope inside my soul that keeps me going day after day, 

no matter how bad things may seem for me.

This is why writing for me is so much more than just blogging.

It is now a keen part of my soul.
One thing I do know for sure, it is what 

I was meant to do!

So I am here to stay, Haters!

To my supporters, I promise to always be me and keep it real!

Never a dull moment at Being Positive with a Depressive Soul, that's for sure!

Thanks everyone!

Much Love to All!

 

I changed my attitude

This major depressive episode kicked my butt.  

Nothing has changed, my life still sucks but I know that I 

cannot live like this anymore.  

Something has to change. 

And the only thing I can change is the way I look at things

Yes, I am under a lot of stress.

Yes, I am sad and lonely.

Yes, my depression has consumed me.

But, I have to stop and take a look around me.

I am okay and that is all that matters.

Everything will work out, maybe not today or even tomorrow

but someday when the time is right.

As long as I do what I have to do then things will turn out fine.

I will never give up on me.

I will live one day at a time.

Because that is all I can do!

Selective Thoughts, Who Me?

http://delectablydawn.com/blog-a-day-blog-hop-2/

Day 11 of the 30 Day Blog-a-Day Challenge

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert  author of the bestselling book Eat, Pray, Love

This tasty little quote was in my email today from Positive Outlooks Blog.  I am in desperate need of learning to control my thoughts.  I am way too sensitive, over think every little thing, and care way too much about people and things that don't matter.  I don't think, I feel.  I want to develop selective thinking instead of selective hearing.

Being so overly sensitive has definitely been a curse.  I am so emotional.  I am tired of feeling like a cry baby.  My personal joke is that I should have been an actress; I can cry at the drop of a hat.

With that said, I became a blogger.  HA, no more waiting tables until I make it big, no auditions, and I do not have to remember my lines.  Instead, I write.  I don't want to be famous.  I just want to be heard, understood, and inspiring, without the negative, emotional thoughts and feelings of my depressed brain getting in the way.

Maybe with the help of blogging, I can even gain the power to control my thoughts and to be more selective when comes to my sensitivity and thought process.  Hey, who knows maybe I could learn to stop worrying!  Wouldn't that be grand?!? (*Grinning From Ear to Ear**)

Affirmation: I Sparkle, really?!?

Although I may be very small in contrast to the totality of our vast universe I KNOW that the SPECK that represents me in this world Shines as brightly and perfectly as any of the stars shining above us in the night sky. I SPARKLE! Yes I do!--Compliments of Phylameana lila Desy

One thing I can say is that I never thought I, me--Jamie, would or could ever sparkle.
Who knew?!?  I didn't know I had it in me, well I guess I do so I better start working the "sparkle" in me. I've got to let it shine before it goes dim.  Shine on, Jamie, Shine on! I will not be afraid to sparkle.  No one can dull my shine!

**Please note, I am writing this post on a Wednesday night, Diet Dew in my hand, whiny pet pig nudging me, in my jammies, needing a bath, but you know what?  I SPARKLE!  That's right, me in all my glory, sparkling like there is no tomorrow.  I am sparkling on with my bad self!

Source: data.whicdn.com via Lorie on Pinterest

                                                                                     Source: Uploaded by user via Angel on Pinterest

                                                                             
   

Another Blog Challenge?!?

Well, what have I got myself into!  

I joined another blog challenge in the same month.

July 2013, shall prove to be a killer month for me,
but I am ready for the challenge.
I am already two days behind.
I will catch up quickly.
Besides, I need to keep busy in order
to get out of this depressive funk.
Got to get back to positivity!

This is for my new readers who haven't read about me yet.
It's just a little look into who I really am.

Back to Therapy, I go!

Day 9 and Day 10 of the 30 Day Blog-a-Day Challenge

(this serves as 2 posts due to

my chaotic life yesterday)

 

     Well, I took my daughter to therapy yesterday. I sat in on the first half hour of it.  I was crying so the focus was on me.  I told her therapist that I was in the middle of a major depressive episode.  The stress has taken over my life which in turn has seem to have over rode (proper grammar, uh not so sure) my medication.  Ugghh! I feel so lifeless, hopeless, and just plain stuck.

 

     She then suggested that I seek therapy.  So right then and there, I made an appointment to see her. It has been years since I have been in therapy.  Bad thing about therapy this time, is that it doesn't start until August 15.  What the heck?  I need help now. I did tell the receptionist that I sure hope to be feeling much better by then.  HAH, maybe I won't even need to go see her by then.  Only time will tell.  As for now, I guess in August I will officially be back in therapy.  Here I go again!