What would you do if you had no Internet access for 48 hours?

Photo Credit: Mental Health Mission

This morning I was just casually browsing 

through my newsfeed on Facebook like 

I always do, (like almost 24/7) 'cause that is what 

Facebook addicts like me do.

Photo Credit: Covermyfb 

Hi my name is Jamie. 

I am an addict.

My drug of choice is Facebook.

Anyway, back to this post.

 Mental note:  I am here and not there.

(Hah!)

I came across this post that said 

"What would you do if you had no 

Internet access for 48 hours?"

Now there's a thought.

My immediate comment was, "I might actually

do some real housework, LOL."

I should have said "I might actually do 

something productive right now."

Shhh!  I am really at work right now.

So I guess that means I need

to wrap this post up, huh?

Anyway, in my defense to the whole 

being a Facebook addict thing, 

I can honestly say that it has helped me

stay alive, to be able to wake up another day.

Depression sucks.  

It sucks the energy out of you.

It makes you over think and

think of issues that weren't even there 

in the first place.

I get really lonely at times, yet

don't want to leave the house.

I struggle everyday.

I am always so stressed out.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am tired of never having any money.

I am tired of telling people

"I am sorry I don't have the money."

I am tired of sleeping all the time.

Thankfully, I do have a job.

I have to work, even if I have to live

paycheck to paycheck.

So, maybe if I had 48 hours away from the Internet

I may be productive and I may not.

Please tell me!

What would you do if you had 

no Internet access for 48 hours?

I would like to thank Mental Health Mission for 

reminding me of my Facebook addiction. 

This page aims to raise awareness, promote recovery and 

help to end the stigma of mental health illnesses and 

addictions.

It's all good though.

I do know my limits, okay maybe sometimes.

There are days that I do "Just say no!" 

to Facebook, especially when there are

a lot of triggers and I find myself starting to 

over think posts and quotes.

I am a highly sensitive soul.

Yeah, add that to the mix.

Such is life, my life.

I live it well.

 

Mental Illness Awareness Week

So as you are well aware,

I am the 1 in 4.

When I was 19, I was put on Prozac.
I basically drank my early 20's away.
Now, needless to say, 
things didn't always mix well.
Alcohol and my Prozac were the best of friends,
more like frenemies, for sure.

When I was 25, I got pregnant.
Therefore, I quit drinking and smoking cold turkey.
Being pregnant also meant no Prozac.
I waited tables at Bob Evans during my pregnancy.
I survived but I am sure I left a lasting 
impression on some of my customers.
Hah!  Good old 1996.

Since then I have been on almost 
every medication on the market:
Prozac (of course), Valium, Trazadone, Remeron, 
Celexa, Wellbutrin, Lexpro, Effexor,
Paxil, Abilify, Cymbalta, Klonopin, Ritalin, Adderall.
(I know I am missing quite a few.)

The medicinal cocktail I currently am on is
Cymbalta (daily), Klonopin (as needed), Adderall (daily),
along with Metoprolol (for high blood pressure), throw in the Depo-Provera birth control shot, and top it off with 
an inhaler or two and here I am.

I have Major Depressive Disorder, 
Generalized Anxiety Disorder, 
High Blood Pressure, Chronic Fatigue,
Seasonal Allergies, and Asthma, 
just to name a few.

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week.

I will leave you now with a little information!

Zany, Who Me?!?

Photo Credit: Posh Coworking 

Enough of the depressing stuff for now

(no pun intended or something like that), 

on to the lighter side of being me.

Zany? Hmmm.

I am a little weird.
I like to think I am funny.
Yes, I am a little goofy 
and ditsy;
downright silly at times.
But you know what?
I don't care what anyone thinks of me
I won't change who I am.
There is nothing wrong with me.
Okay, well, maybe I don't actually 
have my shit together, yet, that is, 
but stick around.
The best is yet to come!


Photo Credit:  The Mind Unleashed

 

I didn't choose depression...

Photo Credit: High AnXieties

And that my friends is all I really have to say about that!

Please share!!!

Depression

Photo Credit:  The Lonely Lotus

To make a long story short,
I remember, around age 12, feeling so totally alone.
This overwhelming sadness had come over me.
As I look back, I now know that this was more than
just being an emotional adolescent.
This was the first time I met Depression.

I was not diagnosed until I was 19.
On a cloudy, very cold, snowy Winter day,
I ended up walking to Hamilton Center,
 a mental health center in my town.
I felt I had to do something.
I was going crazy with sadness.
It was consuming my life.

Now, at age 44
having been diagnosed with Major 
Depressive Disorder and Anxiety 
(among a few other things),
I refuse to hide my mental illness.

I am not alone.
You are not alone.

I am no longer ashamed.

Stay Tuned!
I will fill in the missing years
as time goes by.

 

I'm Back

Photo Credit:  Change Your Thoughts

It seems like forever since I wrote a blog post.
I kind of got stuck in a depressive rut.
Imagine that!

I tend to sleep a lot when I am depressed.
It is my way of not dealing with life.
And I even lie to myself and others by saying that 
sleeping a lot is my way of healing.

Hah!

I can hear Dr.Phil now, "How's that working for ya?"
Well, honestly, I got through it didn't I?
(But I think I get what he is thinking)

So what better way to get backing to what 
I love than jumping right into a blog challenge.

Yes, it will truly be a challenge in more ways than one.

Let me list the reasons why:

I have no Internet/WiFi at home.

My laptop has been broken all year.

I just have a little netbook and my cell.
(a little too small for my fat fingers)

And this little issue called Chronic Fatigue. 

On the bright side:

I have Internet at work.
(I can sneak a few words in a post every now and then)

Sometimes I can pick up the next door
neighbors WiFI.
(my parents live next door...Yay!) 

If I need to, I can write blog posts from my cell.
(the posts will be small, so I must make them mighty)

I must now say,
"Let the freaking challenge begin."

Oh, I forgot to mention the challenge
is just for the month of October.
(I will do my best to finish this one)