Random Update

I had great intentions of posting everyday 

by participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Well, things have not gone as I had hoped.

But on a good note, 

I have been cleaning up my blog.

It was so cluttered and chaotic.

(Hah! Just like my life)

I still have work to do and

it is definitely a work in progress.

Simplicity is key.

Less is more.

Yet, I do want to show a 

little of my style, personality,

and embrace the hot mess

that I truly am.

Excuse the mess!

Yes, I am open.

My blog is currently under construction.

 

I'm Back

Photo Credit:  Change Your Thoughts

It seems like forever since I wrote a blog post.
I kind of got stuck in a depressive rut.
Imagine that!

I tend to sleep a lot when I am depressed.
It is my way of not dealing with life.
And I even lie to myself and others by saying that 
sleeping a lot is my way of healing.

Hah!

I can hear Dr.Phil now, "How's that working for ya?"
Well, honestly, I got through it didn't I?
(But I think I get what he is thinking)

So what better way to get backing to what 
I love than jumping right into a blog challenge.

Yes, it will truly be a challenge in more ways than one.

Let me list the reasons why:

I have no Internet/WiFi at home.

My laptop has been broken all year.

I just have a little netbook and my cell.
(a little too small for my fat fingers)

And this little issue called Chronic Fatigue. 

On the bright side:

I have Internet at work.
(I can sneak a few words in a post every now and then)

Sometimes I can pick up the next door
neighbors WiFI.
(my parents live next door...Yay!) 

If I need to, I can write blog posts from my cell.
(the posts will be small, so I must make them mighty)

I must now say,
"Let the freaking challenge begin."

Oh, I forgot to mention the challenge
is just for the month of October.
(I will do my best to finish this one)

 

Advice

Photo Credit:  Sue Fitzmaurice

This truly made me snicker.

(I think it was out of pure shock and amazement lol)

I had an "AH HA" moment,

maybe more like a "Duh" moment.

I literally laughed out loud

 and thought to myself,

"Damn Jamie, why didn't you think of this."

(Seriously though, I think of 

things, after the fact. HAH!)

 I sure needed a favor, some advice, 

something tonight.

Wow! Just what I needed. 

Seeing things from another point of

 view really puts my life in a new perspective.

This has definitely been 

enlightening, for sure.

Thank you, Sue Fitzmaurice, 

for doing the world a service.

Smile....It's Dolphins!

Video Credit:

 http://sfglobe.com/?id=714&src=share_fb_new_714


Share the Love!


I

Photo Credit: Community.Sephora.com 

DOLPHINS

Up The Happy

Photo Credit:  lightpaper

Yes! Please.

Photo Credit:
http://www.clipartandcrafts.com

That is all!

 

I own my story...

https://www.facebook.com/ragingrhetoric

Explore your darkness!

 Find yourself.

Don't be afraid.

Being vulnerable is a risk, 

but it is a risk you must take in 

order to live, to love, fully.

I set my words out there for all to see.

Some may not like it.

Some may love me for it.

But it is a risk I shall take everyday.

I own my story.

I will tell my story.

I have kept quiet for so many years that

the need to be heard is greater than the

Society who tried to silence me.

This is not a popularity contest.

This is my life.

Do you own your story?

 

Did you miss me?

I am back! 

I took a little hiatus from blogging.

Since I am not in 
any blog challenges, 

I did not know what to do.

So I decided to jump right back in.

So here I be!

pic owner unknown

A lot of times I just open up the laptop, 

go to my blog, and let my
 fingers do the walking;

along the keyboard that is, 
hoping that my words, 

my mind, and my fingers 
are cooperative.

I do not always have something I want to 

write about or even have a clue 
what I am going to write about
but when I do, I know

that my blog is here for me.

I write chaotically and I am usually

all over the place;

just like how my life seems to be lately.

Yes, it is exhausting but 

I have never claimed to be normal.

Pic Owner Unknown

Yes, I suffer from a mental illness.

I am me and that is all 
I will every be.

When it comes to blogging this is 
why I am self-proclaimed:

In my mind I feel like the quote below:

Pic Owner Unknown

Sometimes though, oddly enough, 

my mind is all garbled or even blank.

Even if I have nothing to say and nothing has changed

good or bad in my life (like now), 
I feel I must write none-the-less.

I am alive and okay, therefore I blog.

Why? Because:

Pic Owner Unknown

And:

Pic Owner Unknown

**Next time, I will be more focused and hopefully

bring you better,quality content **

Besides, I wanted you all to know I was doing fine!

 

Randomly, positively, and honestly

Looks like I am still in the challenges!

Go Me! 

I will not let depression stop me now!

The Blog-a-Day Challenge ends tomorrow.

The Ultimate Blog Challenge goes all the way to the end of July

(the 31st is my 43rd birthday--Am I really getting old???)

Let's begin, shall we!?!

Are you ready for another random blog installment 

coming directly to you from me?

Okay, I am feeling daring so I am going

 to air some of my dirty habits

 (dirty laundry isn't one of them).

I am a collector, no matter what my daughter says.

I am in no way a hoarder and no I don't have trash 

just randomly laying around, but maybe, 

occasionally I may have excess amounts of paper in plain view 

(and in a small, compact, 2-drawer filing cabinet, 

besides you never know when I might need something), 

lots of unread magazines (I swear I will read them), 

and numerous knickknacks (in dire need of dusting).

Okay, I admit I am in great need of some serious organizational skills, 

a lot of major de-cluttering ideas, and excessive

 amounts of general tips to simplify my life.

Now that I have admitted my problems, and have addressed my 

depression issues, I am ready to make some serious changes.

The darkness has lifted.

My old friend has left for now.

The light in my life has returned.

I will change what I can and accept what I cannot.

I will not dwell, worry, or stress out on the the things I cannot change.

I am open to all goodness that is headed my way.

The good I do in my life and for others

 will come back to me generously and I am ready for 

the goodness, greatness, and love that will succumb me.

Did I mention I am ready, ready for change?  

I am looking forward to the remaining half of 2013 to

be the best yet. 

Oh yes, I rejoice, the darkness has lifted.

Once again I am victorious.  

I won this last battle against the darkness.

I am strong enough again to live this life I was given. 

Stay tuned, I am back on track to being happy and:

Playing Catch Up

Ok, why do I join these challenges when I

know darn well that I am

going through the darkest time of my life

and my chronic fatigue is rampant throughout me.

Silly me!

So, of course, I am officially behind in my blogging duties.

This will count as several posts.

First things first, I am sad to report that my

pot-bellied pig Waffles has found a new home.

She is with a good family on a farm with lots of room.

My daughter and I could no longer take care of her.

She needed more space to play and I work full time and

couldn't give her the attention she needed. 

She was very much loved and will be sadly missed.

Goodbye Waffles!  I love you!

(as tears roll down my face)

I am going to try and switch moods now.

(Deep breath in and out)

Now I am happy to report that:

I am still very teary eyed all the time,

but the crying jags are getting shorter.

I am anxiously awaiting my own therapy appointment. 

I will no longer take up my daughter's appointments anymore.

 The stress and darkness of my depression has got

to go away; it is definitely time for it to move on.

I seriously don't know how much more I can take.

Oh well, this was supposed to be positive!

That's how things roll in my life, one minute positive the next minute negativity shows up.

Anyway, next:

Considering some days now that I am pissed off that I woke up, one day I will look back on my life and smile, pat myself on the back, and think "So damn glad I decided to live."

Stay strong my friends!  If I have to so do you :)

Love you guys!

 

Back to Therapy, I go!

Day 9 and Day 10 of the 30 Day Blog-a-Day Challenge

(this serves as 2 posts due to

my chaotic life yesterday)

 

     Well, I took my daughter to therapy yesterday. I sat in on the first half hour of it.  I was crying so the focus was on me.  I told her therapist that I was in the middle of a major depressive episode.  The stress has taken over my life which in turn has seem to have over rode (proper grammar, uh not so sure) my medication.  Ugghh! I feel so lifeless, hopeless, and just plain stuck.

 

     She then suggested that I seek therapy.  So right then and there, I made an appointment to see her. It has been years since I have been in therapy.  Bad thing about therapy this time, is that it doesn't start until August 15.  What the heck?  I need help now. I did tell the receptionist that I sure hope to be feeling much better by then.  HAH, maybe I won't even need to go see her by then.  Only time will tell.  As for now, I guess in August I will officially be back in therapy.  Here I go again!

I am having a party, a self-pity party

RSVP-1-Me

So I hate weekends.  They suck!  

This is the time that boredom and loneliness

 sets in and that in turn brings out the depression. 

 Uuuugghhhh!  My car is STILL in the shop.  

I am sooooo broke because of it.  I am low on food and household

supplies.  Everthing is put on hold until I get paid Friday.

I have no energy to do anything.  They say that this too shall pass. 

Well it better pass through pretty damn quickly, that is all I have to say.  

This anxious, worry feeling needs to get on down the road.

 With this said, I am now too tired and cannot seem to focus on getting the

right words out.  Woe is me!

Party Over!

June 2013 Photo a Day Challenge

Today is Day 2 of the 
June 2013 Photo a Day 
Blogging Challenge.

http://www.theidearoom.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/JUNE-2013-Photo-a-day-Challenge.html

 In my hood, here in the blogosphere, 

this is how I roll!

Welcome to my domain! 

Thanks for stopping by my blog!  

Here in my hood

I am the Queen!

Please have a seat, 

take a look around:

 

In my hood:

Won't you support depression
and mental illness too!

In my hood:

But the some of the most 

awesome people are.

In my hood:

You are awesome.  

I Like to compliment our 

guests and make them feel 

special, even though:

In my hood:

Thanks for visiting my hood. As you can see, 

I like being the Queen of my blog.  

But I like sharing it with you.

Won't you come back and visit me 

in my hood, when you can stay longer!?!  

In my hood, I like to talk so please leave

 me a comment, pretty please.

Disclaimer:  Most of the pics I will post will be from the Internet, Pinterest, Facebook, and where ever else I can find photos to use.  If I know who to credit the photo to then I will credit the author.  All photos from the Internet are not my own and I am not the original owner. Some of the photos may have ownership already stamped on it.

Quote

"When you feel in your gut what

 you are and then dynamically pursue it 

  - don't back down and don't give up -

 then you're going to mystify a lot of folks." 

** Bob Dylan

To blog or not to blog, that is the question, therefore, I blog

I selected this post to be featured on Blog Nation. Please visit the site and vote for my blog!

Dictionary online states that "the full formal name of blog is weblog" and simply enough defined as "a journal written online and accessible to users of the Internet." 

About.com gives the meaning for blogging as "the act of posting content on a blog (a Web log or online journal) or posting comments on someone else's blog."  Of course these two definitions seem very cold and insensitive to those of us who have developed a passion for blogging, those who make a living from blogging, those who educate and help others through blogging,and those who depend on blogging for social interaction. And of course all the other 100's of reasons we blog.

 All I know is that blogging has become a passion for me, if I can meet a few awesome people and some fabulous blogs (which I have Kelly@Never Cry Over Spilled Milk, Zoe@rewritten, Chris@Life Your Way, Rob-Bear@Bears Noting, Tracy@Crazy as Normal, and Jules@My Mom's a Whack Job just to name a few off the top of my head), regain some of my social skills I think I have lost, and make a little cash on the side while blogging all the while fulfilling a dream to write, to be heard, to make a difference, to be appreciated, to be accepted in to this whole new world of blogging, and to be praised by my peers then by golly I think I am going to make it in this world after all.  

Maybe this is what I am meant to do! Or at least until I grow up and get a better full-time job, a new life (less drama, chaos, and toxicity) but I think I will always blog whether rich or still poor, single never married, full of drama and chaos and of course there will always be toxic people to try and pull you down, but I will never let anything get in the way of me blogging.  I have a loud mouth and I have a lot more shit to say!  Stay tuned! *Bows and Grins*

I do want to say thanks to all the bloggers that have been kind, friendly, supportive, and very helpful to me in finding my way through the blogosphere which Wikipedia says it is "made up of all blogs and their interconnections and that it is where all blogs exist together as a connected community (or as a collection of connected communities) or as a social network in which everyday authors can publish their opinions." Well, we all know the truth behind Wikipedia, but I agree with everything that was said except that not all authors publish just their opinions. HAH, some people are knowledgeable and even trained and schooled in what they write about.  With that said, the blogosphere has been a very open and flexible in giving us personal/lifestyle bloggers a chance to be heard, whether to entertain, inform, or educate we all serve our own purposes.