4ZB5FoykTh_OOG1MtDYjPt87VfU Positively Depressed: I fought, cussed, cried, but damn it, I refused to let 2013 get to me.

Friday, December 20, 2013

I fought, cussed, cried, but damn it, I refused to let 2013 get to me.

Original Origin Unknown

This year has definitely been one of the worst, if not the worst year of my life.

Still, I Got Out of Bed Each Day!

It seems that depression took a hold of me and would not let go for months.
I felt so alone, cried and let the darkness take its course. 
I lost interest in doing the things I truly loved. 
My love of writing suffered dearly.
I barely ever left the house.

Still, Each Day I Put One Foot in Front of the Other 
and Made it to Work Day After Day!

Not to mention how the stress of struggling financially, personally, and of course emotionally has taken its toll on me. 
Worrying and overthinking was all I knew.

Still, I Continued to Fight for My Life!

I still cannot seem to get my daughter's mental health straightened out. 
The psychologist has one diagnosis and the psychiatrist has another.  
Something has to be done, she needs medication.  
She must be saved from the demons in her mind.
She deserves to live.

Still, I Continued to Love her Unconditionally, 
No Matter How Bad the Madness Got! I Refused to Give Up!

I feel like I have aged ten years in this past year. 
The dark circles under my eyes keep getting darker and deeper.
I am constantly exhausted and worn out.
Grey hairs on my head, at least are minimal, thanks to hair dye. 
But my eyebrows are not so lucky.
My hands look like they are 60 years old.
My aches and pains have worsened.

Still, As I Started to Curse and Bitch More, 
I Kept Going About My Business of Living!

Somehow this year I have been able to survive and persevere despite the pain.
That in itself is truly a small miracle.
I am not weak, I have gained a strength from somewhere I never knew existed. 
I was given this life because, yes, I am strong enough to live it.

This year is almost over. I have almost made it through 2013. 
Whew!  I am so glad to have made it this far.
I am definitely not sad to see it go. 
Honestly, 2013, I am sorry but it is good riddens!

Still, I Know There is No Other Way But to Keep on Fighting.  

I will Never Give Up.  

I will keep moving forward with my life no matter how high I think the water might get.
I will keep my head above water, even when I feel like drowning.

That's how I have done it this year.

There was just no other way. 

Death is definitely not the answer.
Besides, I will not let life win.
HA, Death, I Will Met You in Old Age!

Still, I Against All Odds I Decided to Live!

Personally, People will not break me.
I do not care what others think of me.
I am finally free to be me.

And I will continue to be me. 

Emotionally, I will not be fake.
I will not hide behind or from my feelings.
I will always be me.
I will always embrace my emotions.

Keeping it real may be a full-time job but I will never be someone I am not.
I will never be what others want me to be.

My mental illness is definitely permanently inside me.
It will not define me.
Oh you bet I am much more than my depression.

Love me or do me a favor and leave me.
I am a survivior.
I will survive whether you are by my side or not.

Financially, I may continue to struggle 
but I will find a way to make what I make work.

2014, day by day, I will rise. I will keep on going.  
No matter what you throw at me.
But could you do me one favor? 
Do you think you could please try to be good to me?
Nevertheless, I need 2014 to be my year!
I would love for you to be on my side but if I have to go it alone I will make sure
2014, you will be my year.

Bring It On!



Original Origin Unknown




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2 comments:

  1. What a powerful statement, Jamie! With ideas like that, 2014 has amazing potential waiting in it!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Were you starting to give up on me and my blog LOL I am going to try my best to get back into it on a regular basis. I miss it so much. 2014--i am counting on you :) **hugs**

      Delete

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