4ZB5FoykTh_OOG1MtDYjPt87VfU Positively Depressed: I know, I know...

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I know, I know...


I know that I have stayed away way too long, again.

It is just I have nothing to say 
that is of any good

No positivity here today folks.

Oh well, I try and that is all I can do.

I am not necessarily in a bad mood, not 
really depressed; just stressed with a side
of numbness minus the tears.

I just need a break from reality, 
a vacation from this life that I live.
I don't necessary want to go away.
But I sure wouldn't turn down a trip
to Jamaica or Bahamas; 
even Florida right now.

My daughter is so depressed and
constantly talks about killing herself.
She is in so much pain right now; 
so irrational, so genuinely miserable.

I am at wits end.
I no longer have a clue on how to handle her
and her emotional breakdowns.
Hell, I can't even handle my own 
breakdowns sometimes

I get so frustrated that I have a hard time 
trying to save myself
let alone my own daughter.

I want to take her pain away and give it to myself, if I could.
But that isn't possible, even though I may be 
a little stronger than her or maybe it is just
that I have learned to deal with what 
goes on in my life and in my mind.

I don't understand why she 
doesn't want to help herself.
She needs medication bad.
She never takes it long enough
to know if it could actually help her.
She is in counseling but I think 
she has the wool over her eyes.  
The therapist thinks that she is "okay."

I started counseling, again.
It is going to be a lot of hard work
but I am ready for change to come in 
one way or another.

But until the time is right for things to 
come together I am so stuck in so many ways.
And so is she.

post signature

3 comments:

  1. For what it's worth, I am keeping you both in my prayers. You CAN overcome this, but you have to believe that you can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My heart just broke for you and your daughter when I read this post! I am not sure what your daughters name is, but I will definitely be keeping you both in my prayers :)
    I am not sure if you are a believer or not, but when I used to struggle with depression, this verse helped me A LOT! And He is still the only reason I survive and strive, I sure as heck couldn't do life on my own strength! :)

    "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" (Matthew 20:26, NIV)

    Kayla

    ReplyDelete
  3. I nominated you all for the Liebster award at http://choosetoseewithyourheart.wordpress.com/2013/09/15/an-award-already-the-liebster-award/

    Pass it on!

    ReplyDelete

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